You want to know why?
why I cant sleep,
why I cant eat,
why I cant breathe.
why there are moments in my recent days where my heart stops beating?
why I detach my soul,
why I break contact,
why I do things to hurt?
why there are moments in my day where I cry for you.
why I see black and white when there are always shades of grey.
why I put myself through this agony,
why I pretend I can make you believe I am your one and only.
why I stare at you and not even realise I am.
why there are moments in my day where I show enough self control not to contact you.
why I cry myself to sleep eventually,
why food makes me feel ill,
why darkness is my new best friend.
why there are moments in my when when I wish you would disappear….
I don’t have answers to any of them.